LOTHA

What It Is

The wound of betrayal arises from the violent clash between trust given and loyalty broken. It emerges when someone we trusted deeply -sometimes with our heart and soul- betrays our expectations, values, or sacred bond. This wound strikes at the core of fidelity, commitment, and felt truth.
It tears through us like a moral dagger, leaving a sense of profound betrayal, an assault on our very essence. Its pain is all the more intense because it creeps into spaces of closeness, vulnerability, and sincere investment.
It feels like a knife to the heart or a stab in the back.

Where Does It Come From?

Feeling betrayed isn’t just disappointment -it’s a deep inner shock from giving everything (yourself, time, energy) only to be treated as if it held no value.
This wound originates in a painful paradox: we offer the best of ourselves with trust, sincerity, and deep commitment, yet we’re treated as if that investment is worthless.
This gap between what we give and what we receive creates a profound inner fracture. Over time, repeated experiences build a conflict between our authentic values and the reality we face, leading to isolation and intense loneliness.
It’s this wound that hits the ego, attacking our self-esteem and trust, making betrayal’s pain so powerful and lasting. Understanding its origin is key to rebuilding -reclaiming our worth and refusing to betray ourselves.
These experiences pile up until we think, “I’ll just treat others how they treat me, so I won’t be betrayed again.” But this can lead to an unintended conflict with our own values, causing disconnection and deep loneliness.

Why Is It There?

It tells us:
“You feel betrayed because of a value conflict between you and this person. You don’t identify with them because you confuse their value with their identity, defining them by their actions. And you’re doing the same to yourself: you define your worth by what you do and who you are, not by the fact that you are.”

What Is Its Power?

It’s a powerful revealer of our value system and self-esteem. It shines a light on these engrams:

• “I am what I do, and I judge others as I judge myself.”
• “I’m hurt because I deserved it, and it’s my fault.”
• “I trust what people say and do.”
• “I’m in this situation because I let it happen.”

The belief that “I deserve what happens to me” fuels guilt and over-responsibility for the pain endured. Blind trust in others’ words and actions can make us vulnerable to disappointment. These engrams not only create or reinforce blockages but also feed other wounds: fear of abandonment, mistrust of others, or difficulty setting clear boundaries (abandonment complex).

What It Teaches

It teaches that trust is never owed -it’s earned. It invites us to embrace uncertainty, trust our instincts and physical sensations, and see saying “no” as an act of sovereignty and self-respect. Above all, it frees us from the illusion that others’ behavior defines our worth.

Why Transmute It?

Working through it does more than soothe pain: it brings clarity on what truly matters to us, strengthens inner confidence, and teaches us to set solid boundaries. This transformation sharpens our discernment -what deserves our trust and what doesn’t frees us from relying on external validation, and empowers us to act with integrity and authenticity. It lifts the weight of judgments and projected wounds, boosting our energy, leadership, and impact as individuals.

How to Transmute It?

1. Create a safe inner space: Take time to pause, breathe deeply, and welcome your emotions without judgment, as if you’re a compassionate observer of your own story. The goal: feel safe with your emotions -it’s okay to acknowledge and experience them.
2. Revisit the event with perspective: Look at what happened, not to dwell on the pain, but to understand which values were violated and how you reacted. The key is maintaining your observer stance toward these triggers.
3. Identify limiting beliefs: Spot the automatic thoughts trapping you (e.g., “I deserve this pain” or “I am what I do”) and challenge them. Which ones keep resurfacing? Have they appeared in other contexts or situations? Which beliefs do I choose to let go of now? What do I choose to embody instead? Why is this important to me now?
4. Turn chaos into resources:

• What have I learned?
• What are my strengths?

5. Act with sovereignty:

• I set clear boundaries.
• I have the right to say “no.”
• I see, I observe, I hear, and I make decisions with clarity.

Lotha